This week, I've been thinking about the Christian life. Its a freaking mess. Society tells us that we have to be successful in our career, field, or profession, and that success looks like making yourself look good. That idea is in our churches too, this quest for success in the Christian life. And what does that success look like? Becoming holy, changed people who give huge portions of their life away, people who always offer an encouraging word, people who lead others in vibrant prayer, people who even confess their need for Jesus and call themselves sinners. Right?
To be honest, I am a person who thinks God wants me to be holy. And being holy is checking all those things off the above list, along with a few more additions, several commandments, and a smily countenance.
The thing is, God does want us to be holy. Yep.
But that is not our freaking purpose!! That is not what life is all about!! Holiness is only necessary to allow us to be in the presence of God. God's ultimate end is relationship with us. That's the main reason Jesus came, to sum it up. To make a way for us to be with God, in relationship now, and after we die, to infinity and beyond.
So, sin and the commandments, looking good in church, being a good christian or leader, all that shit. Its not about us making these awesome reputations, building our own personal kingdoms. Those end up sucking anyway. Today I was wondering why I had so little joy. Its because I'm so sad my little kingdom sucks, my reputation and character, are not amazing. But thats because I don't let Jesus own me completely.
His kingdom is running pretty great, and I could be so happy if I truly believed he loved me, and if my life goals were centered around His kingdom, not mine.
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